“So, what about you? What are your dreams for this year?” It was a simple enough question, and one I had asked others many times. Yet when someone asked me I was stumped for an answer…
I’d spent so long in my roles as wife, mother, assistant, coach and friend that somewhere in the midst of it I’d got lost. I’d put other people’s needs, wants and dreams before my own, until I’d reached a place where I’d forgotten my own.
I’m the kind of girl who likes boundaries. I like to know what is expected and then I can make it happen. So helping others achieve their dreams is simple. Point me in the right direction and off I go. But give me a blank piece of paper… take away all the boundaries… lift the limits… and ask me to dream about the impossible, and suddenly I’m lost. I don’t know where to start, or at least at that moment in time I didn’t.
So here I was. Stuck. Unsure of who I really was anymore.
I hadn’t always been that way. When I was younger my heart was full of dreams. I had a strong sense of identity. I knew who I was and where I was going. I was eager to learn and ready to grow. But life had somehow knocked that all out of me. So here I was. Stuck. Unsure of who I really was anymore. I was unsure of my goals, unsure of my dreams and even unsure of how to start dreaming again.
I remembered the parable of the talents that Jesus told (Matt 25:14-30). He described 3 men who were each entrusted with a type of coin called a talent. Two chose to use what they were given and multiply it into something greater. The third, out of fear, buried it (and his head) in the sand. That third man didn’t experience any increase, and even what he had was taken from him, and given to one of the others.
For me, the message was clear. I couldn’t continue to bury my talents and dreams in the sand. I have a responsibility before God to use them and fulfil what I was created to do. The dreams I once had needed to be brought back to life so I could be a blessing to others and flourish as a person.
I started to go back to old notebooks and diaries and stired up those forgotten dreams. Some had passed their sell-by-date, but others started to come back to life. I started to think, pray, research and write, and slowly those dreams, and my sense of identity, started to come back into focus.
I still don’t know all the answers but I do know the next steps and I’m taking them! The journey isn’t always easy but its amazing to see the “coincidences” that occur as I step out. Slowly but surely I’ve remembered who I really am meant to be.
So let me finish by asking you the same question… What about YOU? What are YOUR dreams for this year?