5 Ways to Show Love to Your Teenagers

How do you communicate with your teenager when you seem to speak different languages? ⠀

It’s a question that often comes up in coaching. Parents want to have a healthy, loving relationship with their teens but sometimes don’t find it as easy as when the kids were younger. ⠀

It can seem as if the teen is speaking a completely different language and it can be hard to know how to relate. ⠀

One framework I recommend with parents is Dr Gary Champan’s “5 love languages”. ⠀

If you’ve not heard of his books he writes about 5 different ways of expressing love; acts of service, words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time and presents. ⠀

To effectively communicate your love towards someone you have to say it in their language (and not your own!). So while you’re busy expressing your love by cooking, cleaning and being a personal taxi service (acts of service) they might be craving a simple note telling them how proud you are of them (words of affirmation). ⠀

Maybe when they were little they were your cuddly child, but as they’ve grown you’ve lost that physical connection? But a foot massage while watching tv might be just what they want. ⠀

His website 5lovelanguages.com contains lots of resources and includes a simple quiz to help you identify your love language.⠀

As teenagers feel loved and accepted it opens up the door to talk about other things.

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